baby Marianne

"There is power that comes to women when they give birth. They don't ask for it, it simply invades them. Accumulates like clouds on the horizon and passes through, carrying the child with it."
Sheryl Feldman

On May 13th, we were blessed with the arrival of our beautiful daughter, Marianne. Giving birth is such a magical event. It doesn't matter how many times you experience it, the feelings of wonder and amazement don't diminish, they only seem to grow stronger. The power that we as women have is unbelievable. If we can give birth to new life, I'm convinced there is nothing that we can't do! I wish every woman could experience a natural birth, pain and all. There's something about the whole event that, it seems to me, if you remove a component from it (like pain and discomfort) you're taking away an important piece to the puzzle.

Without feeling everything that was happening during my first two births, I did not get the sense of empowerment that I felt after a natural birth. I feel I can express this opinion because I have had two hospital pain free births and two natural home births. Both ways end with the same result, your baby being born, which really is the most important thing. But, I just wish I had known home birth was option 12 years ago when I had Max. I remember I had originally wanted a natural birth, but once I set foot in the hospital all sorts of things started happening that I didn't want. I was put on pitocin, stuck in a bed, not allowed to eat and constantly tempted with an epidural. Basically, all the things I didn't want. I just want encourage all women, who are pregnant or hoping to become pregnant, to look into home births/birth center births and midwives, even if you think it's not for you.

*Please know that I'm not looking down on other people's choices at all. If someone doesn't want feel any pain at all, more power to them. I'm just expressing my own experiences and their effects on me. No matter how the baby gets here, a birth is extraordinarily special.

Anyway, I didn't plan on breaching that topic. I could go on and on, but I won't. Maybe, if anyone is interested, we could all discuss it in a post of it's own. I'd love to hear your birth stories and views about birth. So, on to Marianne's abridged birth story...

On Thursday, around 7 pm, my midwife Janna came over to break my water. I was looking forward to giving birth in few hours... boy was I wrong! Assuming that your fourth baby is going to come really quick is a big mistake. My contractions very slowly began to get regular and with each hour increased with pain. By midnight/one o'clock it was intense. I kept telling myself that it was not pain that i was feeling, just a different sensation unique to labor (Ina Mae says something along those lines in Spiritual Midwifery). I found that telling myself this helped and kept me on a more positive train of thought because at times it can feel like the labor is never going end. Janna checked me and I was at 9cm. As the hours went on I began to feel the exhaustion. I actually started to doze off for seconds between contractions. Around 5am Janna had to go and Lisa came to take over. Lisa checked me again and I was still not fully dilated. Hearing that news after that many hours was very, very difficult. I was beginning to feel unsure about how much longer I could endure the pain. Then the doubts started to flood my mind. I only allowed them to remain briefly, that's not a path you want to go down during labor. Instead I thought of all the women past and present that had given birth naturally. I told myself that it was a gift to be able to do this, a gift unique to us as women. All those others had made it through and even I had with the birth of Shane, surly I could make it again. Lisa thought I should try to use the restroom and stand for a bit. After doing that and returning to the bed, the urge to push was upon me at last! A few hard pushes and out she came at 7:48 am. The feelings of joy and immense relief were overwhelming. She was as beautiful and healthy as I had prayed she'd be. The smallest of all my children, she weighed in at 7lbs. and 9oz. and was 21 inches long.

The instant love you feel upon seeing your baby is insane. I always wonder before they're here if I could have room to love another as much as i love my other children. Of course I know the answer, yes I do, but it still amazes me every time. It makes me realize how much the Heavenly Father loves each and every one of us and how he has endless room in His heart for us.

janna,ruben and shane, myself and marianne and lisa

I'm so grateful to everyone at South Coast Midwifery for helping me have another wonderful birth. I couldn't have asked for more from Lisa, Janna and Megan( she assisted both midwives), my amazing husband for being beside me and holding my hand through the whole thing, my Mom who has been a constant support through out my whole pregnancy(and life) and has been coming over and cooking delicious dinners for us, my step mom Cathy for taking the kids, helping me out with laundry and being the wonderful friend that she is to me, my Nana for going with me to appointments and watching Shane and taking all 3 kids the night before I had the baby and last but not least, all our friends and family that have sent well wishes and been there for us in many different ways. You all are the best!!!

♥ anne