Solitude. Lately I have been alone a lot. Ok, well not alone alone, I always have my children nearby, but alone for me. Left to my thoughts most days. At times in my life I will desire a multitude of friends and activities but more often than not, I'm perfectly content alone or with my family. I've come to realize that I like the idea of an active social life much more than the reality of it. I often reflect on my sister's life of solitude and in many ways we live similar lives. I have never seen any likeness in our vocations until recently. I have always found it interesting that she ended up in a convent because she is the social one of the two of us. Everyone loved my sister. If you compared us strictly on personality I would say she should have stayed in the world and I enter the convent. Haha! That's a funny thought! Of course, God knows the best route for purifying us and I know he put us where we both belong.
I'm currently reading "Women Who Run With Wolves" and I came across this paragraph about solitude which I feel is perfectly put:
In order to converse with the wild feminine, a woman must temporarily leave the world and inhabit a state of aloneness in the oldest sense of the word. Long ago the word alone was treated as two words, all one. To be all one meant to be wholly one, to be in oneness, either essentially or temporarily. That is precisely the goal of solitude, to be all one. It is the cure for the frazzled state so common to modern women, the one that makes her, as the old saying goes, "leap onto her horse and ride in all directions."
Solitude is not an absence of energy or action, as some believe, but is rather a boon of wild provisions transmitted to us from the soul.
Sometimes it's easy to get aloneness and loneliness confused. I don't know about you but I have felt lonely in the midst of people on many occasions. Maybe those are the times that aloneness is needed. A time to reevaluate priorities and such. How do you feel about being alone? I imagine an introvert, like myself, experiences it differently than an extrovert. Is it something you seek out or run away from?
Please share your thoughts!
♥ anne
Sometimes it's easy to get aloneness and loneliness confused. I don't know about you but I have felt lonely in the midst of people on many occasions. Maybe those are the times that aloneness is needed. A time to reevaluate priorities and such. How do you feel about being alone? I imagine an introvert, like myself, experiences it differently than an extrovert. Is it something you seek out or run away from?
Please share your thoughts!
♥ anne
I have totally felt lonely in the midst of people, and think you're right: that's exactly when aloneness is needed. Being a stay at home mom can sometimes be lonely, and never have I needed solitude like I do by the end of the week. Ha! Thanks for this great post, it is giving me something to reflect on. :)
ReplyDeleteDude, I'm all about solitude! "The silent bliss of solitude" as teenage Missa might have called it. It's been the kind of year where I can't get enough of it. I just want to be alone. The other day I was reading an article about a woman who was a political prisoner in Finland during WWII, who would intentionally brake the rules so that she could spend time alone away from her four person cell, in solitary, this in spite the fact that it was cold and there was little or no food. I totally found myself identifying with that. I have two weeks off right now, and I'm finally getting some unscheduled alone time and so far (two days in) it's magical. I do so much better when I am with people, if I have this kind of solitude as well. Otherwise I do often feel totally lonesome with others around. I am a little afraid that given the opportunity I could just turn into a complete hermit. I'm glad you're enjoying WWRWW, it's about time I re-read it as well. Enjoy your quiet, re-arrange your thoughts. Love you.
ReplyDeleteHello, and I concur! I wondered to myself today how people might judge me were I to tell them that some weeks I just want to be in a small house in the middle of nowhere, all, by, myself. I am very mindful right now that my social cup runneth over, in a bad way, and it is time to be by myself again. More often than not (and I'm sure I've repeated myself over the years)....I leave it too late to realise when I need it, and my mind is in a muddle and I feel frustrated and hateful. But I'm getting better at it. And ha! I just read what Milla wrote, her fear that hermit-dom could be imminent, and I'm so on board with that. You have a quiet strength about you Anne, I think that is a marvellous trait that comes inherently with introversion. x
ReplyDeleteI LOVE being alone. I crave it and look forward to it. My husband is excellent at understanding that part of me even though he thrives off of being around others and creating. It helps me to get out and do something fun though otherwise I'd always be home. I think I'm introverted and empathic so being around other people can be exhausting for me energetically but it really depends on the situation.
ReplyDeleteI am pretty much an extrovert but I crave and seek out alone time. I have always loved taking time alone, and I can honestly say that I don't think I've ever in my life felt "lonely." Probably because I grew up in a family with five kids, then always had a very active social life, and I've always had the kind of house that feels like a sit-com with people stopping by all the time. For that reason, ever since I was a little kid, alone time has felt like a cherished treat. I rarely get TRUE alone time these days and when I do, I thrive. I recognized that passage from women Who Run with the Wolves immediately and remember it resonated with me as well. I hope to get plenty of cozy, dark winter time to reflect and go within when the girls sleep. With young babies we never get true alone time, and I am so engaged in the busy-ness of my children and home that I find I have to make a real effort to just BE with myself, which never fails to refresh. Thank you for this wonderful post. I love imagining your sister's life, and how interesting that she was the social one of you two! I would love to meet her someday.
ReplyDeleteI usually seek out people on some level. I like to feel apart of something. There have definitely been times where I've felt alone or lonely while among others. I guess that's when I don't feel any connections. I like feeling connected and apart of a bigger picture. I guess that's why I'm usually seeking out others. I will say since having children, it's a rare treasure to be home alone. I'm more than happy for those few pieces of solitude. Though I'm usually semi-paralyzed by the endless amount of things I could do on my own.
ReplyDeleteI too am with certainty an introvert and do crave my quiet and peace. I love to get lost in books or music or soaking up the sunshine. For me a perfectly adequate form of social interaction is when I pop online and engage in the blogs that I follow :) Without a doubt I feel the loneliest amongst people. It's hardest for me when I'm with people who by definition of their familial tie I should feel most complete with, but I don't. Partly due to just having such different values, but also due to the distance that unfortunately accompanies their suffering with mental illnesses. Most of all, it's then that the fact that I was kept so separate from them in my growing years is painfully tangible. Some of those relationship gaps are being bridged with effort and with time, some I just have to work to accept will never be.
ReplyDeleteI'm largely an introvert and I really cherish my time alone. Being around too many people for too much time just exhausts my soul and I have to retreat unto myself and be alone, for my own good. I definitely relate to feeling lonely around people too, sometimes it even makes my loneliness worse to be around people. So long as my being alone is a choice I don't get lonely though, it's when I really need to reach out and there's no one there that I get that lonely soul ache. I'm an only child though so for me alone was a near-constant as a child, and it made being alone as an adult a pretty smooth transition.
ReplyDeleteMy honey is big on solitude as well, and he lives out in a secluded cabin by a little lake, away from most people and the hustle and bustle of daily life. But it's more a conscious desire to get nearer to nature, and less of escaping something else, which seems just fine to me. Visiting him there is a bit like falling into a bubble universe though, our own little nest of love and seclusion, good for both our souls :)
Compared to my sister, I've always been the friendly extrovert. As I've gotten older though, I've really come to value my time alone and NEED my time alone. I start to get frazzled if my thoughts do not have an outlet. It's a big part of why I blog, actually. Like you, an active social life always sounds better in theory than in reality. It can be really draining. But it's also important - for me - to get out and share experiences with others. It's a balance, I guess. I love these lyrics by Dr.Dog... "You could say that we're alone, but we're lonely together"...
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