3.06.2014

Thoughts

Let not the year go round and round, without a break and interruption in its circle of pleasures. -
Blessed John Henry Newman 
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I read that quote yesterday morning and thought it was perfect for the onset of Lent. I am usually happy and ready for this season when it finally approaches and this year I feel I need it more than ever. "Offer it up" has been a phrase that has been running through my head a lot lately. If you are/were Catholic you are probably familiar with this saying. I'll briefly explain the best I can. Offering it up is a way to turn an undesirable task, sacrifice or any suffering into a prayer. Or said a little differently, it means to offer your suffering to God as a sacrifice. It can be a very small suffering or a great one. For example, I'm pregnant and as you most likely know, being pregnant is difficult for me. With my previous two pregnancies and this one I've offered all the discomfort, pain of birth, sickness, etc up for a particular intention/petition. This doesn't alleviate any of said discomforts but it sure makes it feel like it's not all for nothing. In fact, it's one of the main aspects of being pregnant that I actually enjoy.

Unfortunately, I have a hard time keeping this mindset in place. I quickly fall into my habit of complaining and negativity. I certainly have to remind myself often and attempt to correct my thoughts and actions and words. The other night I went to Confession and was telling the priest that I felt like a child throwing a tantrum. He told me a story about when he was a boy and had gotten hurt. He was crying and a family member asked him if crying made it hurt less. He sniffled and stopped and thought about the question and said, "well,  no". This was JUST what I needed to hear. I've been crying and complaining over something I can't change. Yes, I'm pretty miserable but crying about it isn't helping, it's actually just making it worse.
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He wasn't being insensitive rather he was showing me a different way to look at the situation. Is it an easy solution? Absolutely not! Sometimes you need to cry out and throw a tantrum but not every day :) I have a lot to be grateful for and need to focus on those things rather than the perceived negatives that I'm so good at identifying.  

So here I am, ready to make the most of these last few weeks. I can't guarantee I'll be super successful but with the help of God, I'm certainly going to give it one hell of a try!

♥ anne

6 comments :

  1. awww best of luck to you in these final days of pregnancy. i totally understand. sometimes we can cry and cry because at first it feels good, but at a certain point we have to decide to stop, to raise our teary eyes to the sun, and with all our strength, step forward. blessings to you and your babies.

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  2. Thank you, I needed to read this. This past month I've had a really hard time. I'm struggling with anxiety and depression in a way I never have before. I don't want to leave the house or go to work (even though I don't really work that often) and I do feel like a kid throwing a tantrum. I'm sending lots of positive waves and thoughts your way. <3

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  3. Such a good thought... and though I am not religious, I think that something about what he said resonates with me because it's about stopping the cycle; sometimes when I am feeling negative and let myself wallow a bit longer than usual, it feeds itself and grows larger. So I suppose I try to wallow a little and then feed it with some positive thoughts instead. Easier said than done when you are physically uncomfortable and exhausted. I remember feeling worse with each pregnancy, and by my third I was just barely making it through the day. I hope you feel better soon, darling!

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  4. I was raised catholic, but stopped practicing almost a decade ago... I'd actually forgotten about Lent and all that goes with it. Yesterday I was complaining and griping about something that wouldn't change, and I just wish I had been able to read this yesterday morning! I'm going to keep this in mind when I go in today :)

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  5. This is such a beautiful, inspiring and raw piece of you. I love the idea of Lent, always have. And the acknowledgement of suffering is a very Buddhist idea too. We muse a lot on suffering as the human condition. Lots of love and strength to on these final days before your babe comes along.

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  6. Pregnancy can be such a challenge (esp towards the end) but you are such a wonderful strong mama for going through it mindfully and with intention. I wasn't raised Catholic but have always been very fascinated by the structure and a number of women I really admire are Catholic. Wishing you a restful and cozy week ahead. xo m

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thank you so much for stopping by. please feel free to leave a comment! i love reading them :)


anne